My Story From Feeling Lost, Not Enough And Working 5 Casual Jobs To Building Million Dollar Coaching Business In Under 4 years

This article has been authored by Stand Out Online Member Sofia Bernardi, Rising Ventures

A little over 8 years ago, I found out that my dad had a gambling addiction.

Whilst it came as a huge shock, everything also started to make sense from the moment I found out. The lies, the arguments, the financial struggles - all became clear.

But from the moment I found out, my life changed forever. Nothing was the same again. Not even for a second. The day after my dad told us, he went to a clinic for months. It was tough. To be honest, though, I barely remember how I felt - my brain has almost completely wiped out that time of my life.

All I remember was the way my body responded. At first, I became extremely sick for a week. I barely left my bed and didn’t eat. My hair started to fall out. And when I say fall out I mean I had a bald patch on the back of my head. It was so embarrassing. I also randomly fainted a few times, whilst in the middle of a conversation with a friend.

At the time, I had no idea this was all correlated, but now I do. A few months after finding out, my dad was only getting worse, and it was becoming a huge threat to my family’s safety.

Long story short, with a month's notice, we packed a suitcase each and my mum, brother, sister and I moved to Denmark, where my mum was born. We did this to move to safety and to be closer to my mum's family.

Saying goodbye to my friends was the hardest thing I ever did, as when you’re 16 - all you care about is your friends. Saying goodbye to my dog was heartbreaking, and my dad and grandparents of course.

Moving to another country, culture and climate was challenging to say the least. I went from 40 degree summers to no summers at all. I went from having so many friends, to know no one. I went from just passing school, to not understanding the language at all. It was a strange time, but I adjusted quickly given the circumstances.

The first year in Denmark was so fun. I became close with an exchange student there and we quickly became best friends. He made me forget what my family was going through. We are still great friends to this day. After he moved, my life turned dark and reality kicked in. What came after that was a series of depressive and hard times.

I would often sit alone at lunch, as I had no desire to speak to people. I would do nothing on the weekends but sit in my bed. Crying…Eating chocolate and watching YouTube videos.

One day, I typed” How to be happy” on YouTube. I came across a video of a man on stage. I was listening to him whilst cleaning my room until I heard him say something that changed my life forever: life is happening FOR you not TO you. I froze. I had never heard anything like it. I ended up binge-watching this random person for hours on end.

His name, Tony Robbins. Next thing you know, I owned all his books and slowly started reading and taking notes. After 3 long years, I was finally going back to Australia…For a holiday.

I will never forget how I felt landing back home. I had the best month of my life, reuniting with friends, my family, my dog, and I even fell deeply in love with my best friend from Australia. After a month of joy, I went back to Denmark to complete my last year of school whilst in a happy, long-distance relationship.

I counted down the days and the minutes until I was graduating school so I could move back to Australia. I gratefully was a lot happier at this point and had made some of the nicest friends in Denmark, who to this day are some of my closest friends.

Eventually, I graduated from high school in danish. I was proud and so happy. I then travelled Europe with my boyfriend and we had the best time. From sailing in Croatia to eating pasta and drinking wine in Italy. You name it, we did it.

Then, I moved back to Australia - thinking life would be picture perfect. Until it wasn’t. I realised that you cannot run away from problems. They did indeed come with me.

After a few months being in Australia - I crumbled. I felt stuck, lost and not good enough. I had no idea what to do with my life. I had no idea how to process my emotions and I felt alone. All my friends were at university creating incredible careers for themselves and me…not a clue what to do.

I was living with my grandparents, working 12 hours a week at a bar in the city. I was bored. I had no passions or hobbies…Nothing to fill my time. I spiralled in my emotions. I remember one day breaking down in the shower on the floor crying and my boyfriend crying too having no idea how to help me. It was at that moment, I hit rock bottom. A few months later, we broke up. The last good thing in my life - gone.

I did not handle this well… I stopped eating. I lost all energy for life. I became the worst person to spend time with.

With no coping mechanisms, I had no choice but to work on myself. I started watching YouTube videos day in and day out to learn how to calm the F down. How to move on. How to change your life. I remembered Tony Robbins and dove deeper into his work. A few months later I moved out of my grandparent's house and into my own place with a couple of random roommates. Life was scary and unknown, but I was facing it.

I slowly started to get my shit together. I started eating and exercising again. I kept learning about the mind and reading like crazy. It felt like I would take one step forwards and one step back. Trying to move on, but also trying to not let go.

Shortly after moving out, I got into a car accident. It was scary and a big wake up call. It was like the universe was trying to wake me up from being in the past so much instead of the present.

Things started to look up. I kept changing my mind on what I was going to do with my life, but at least I was starting to focus on the future again.

Fast forward 3 months and I was going back to Denmark for Christmas. I was supposed to be going with my boyfriend, we had tickets to go together, but now it was just me.

Something changed in Denmark. I felt strong. I felt independent. I felt happy…

I was barely in Denmark. I travelled all over Europe meeting friends and exploring different places…Spain, Sweden, Norway, Ireland, London, Germany and Amsterdam to name a few. I saw the northern lights with my brother and sister. It was magical.

When I came back to Australia, things started to fall into place. I travelled to New Zealand with one of my best friends, went skydiving and lived my best life.

When I came home again, I found a new place to live, and started to work a lot…Across 5 different jobs. Walking dogs, catering, decluttering, cleaning and babysitting. I was busy, in a good way.

I even travelled to America to help some family friends with their business at a trade show in New York. We had a blast. I became close with a whole bunch of people, had a massive social life and felt alive.

I eventually reached burnout from overworking. I still had no clue what to do with my life though. And I still wasn’t completely over my ex.

I decided to go to a Tony Robbins live event in Sydney to make some changes. The day before I flew to Sydney, I bumped into my ex…with his new girlfriend. I handled it well. And I’m incredibly grateful that this happened.

At the Tony Robbins event, it’s all about having a “breakthrough”. A breakthrough that I felt just about everyone but me was having. We walked on fire, jumped up and down for 12 hours a day, wrote a book worth of notes and met awesome people. But still no purpose and still not over my ex.

Until…we went through a powerful process - called The Dickens Process. In this process, you link a lot of pain to staying the same and a lot of pleasure to change.

A visual came to mind (thanks to bumping into my ex and his GF), that if I didn’t let go of my ex, then in 10 years time everyone around me would be married and moved on, and I'd be in the same place. I couldn’t think of anything worse, and so I let it go.

Right there, my life changed. But still, I didn’t know what to do with my life. All I knew was I wanted to help people. On the last day of this incredible event, I realised something.

I wanted to do what Tony was doing. He helped 10’s of thousands of people all at once, in the space of 3 days. Helped people through some really hard stuff, all - in a moment. I let go of things I had held onto for a long time in such a short period. I wanted to share what I had learned with others.

And then it clicked for me. Coaching was a career. What Tony was doing was coaching. And I could become a coach.

So that’s what I did, I became a coach. And what better way to do that than to sign up for a coach myself. I don’t think I realised what I had gotten myself into…But anyways.

2 weeks after the event, I met a man. That man is now my boyfriend of over 2 years, and I’m more in love than ever. We live together and have been on a wild ride together already!

Who would have thought healing myself would create such abundance in so many ways. I also decided to run half a marathon, which I also did. (And since then I’ve even run a full marathon!)

Back to business…Not much was happening…I prioritized just about everything above working on my business (procrastination) and so of course the results stagnated.

I became frustrated, upset, and helpless. All I wanted to do was help people, and I was talking to a wall more than I was talking to people.

I eventually got a few clients here and there, which excited me, and frightened me. Eventually, I got sick of the slow progress, so I hired another coach which was a huge investment at the time.

Things changed, and quickly. Before you knew it, I had built a 6 figure business, and then multiple. It wasn’t all up though. I had multiple meltdowns, challenges and moments where I questioned everything.

I also got bullied online by “friends” from high school. I’ve since learnt from mentors I value deeply that this is all part of the growth. I also know that people’s behaviour towards others is simply a reflection of how they feel about themselves - so I feel deeply sorry for them.

I decided to focus on what matters most. What lights my soul on fire and focused my energy on those who were there for me unconditionally, and not on those who bring me down because I’m happy.

I was helping women heal their hearts and consciously create a life they love, just like I had done for myself. I started to attract a lot of new coaches asking me how I grew so quickly…So I would help them.

I eventually put 2 and 2 together and realised that I was helping more coaches than I was women - so I shifted. And just like that, I was a business mentor for new and rising coaches.

This brings me to today. I’m happier than ever, helping hundreds across the globe every single day to run online impactful events to grow their coaching business to consistent 50K+ months. I’m full time in a career I love and I’ve never looked back.

So my point? Success & Fulfillment is not linear. I also couldn’t have predicted any of this.

Life is beautiful, it’s hard, it’s heartbreaking, it’s rewarding and it’s everything in between. It’s magic. It’s perfect, just as it is. Life is a gift and a journey. Ride the waves, let go and trust the process.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to love. I hope my story has impacted, inspired or empowered you in some shape or form to become a better person and go for your dreams.

Together we heal, together we rise.

Sofia xo